Brought to you by Harriet Kohen, MSW, LICSW
Routines are soothing. Think about babies and how they are wired for feeding and sleeping routines. Routines can allow the scariness and separation of bedtime to be absorbed by predicable schedules and activities for most toddlers and school age children. Routines and rituals can mean the difference between healing sleep and hours of wakefulness.
Routines decrease anxiety and lowers resistance to regular tasks, according to Dr. Howard. Tooth brushing and taking out the trash become expected. Routines also send important messages to children and reinforce a sense of belonging. When a family experiences major stress such as a job loss or chronic illness, routines provide stability.
Family without routines tends to be chaotic. Perhaps this is due to high levels of parental stress pr depression or anxiety in a parent.
Family meals, consistent homework times, and rules about curfews tend to promote academic success and lessen behavioral problems for adolescents.
Routines also help children stay organized so they can fit in exercise, socializing and faith-based programs. They protect children feel more confident about their daily life.
Routines convey value or meaning and help to communicate to children what’s important to the family. Parents are encouraged to explain routines in a clear way especially to children who are anxious. For example, instead of saying you’ll “try” to do something, just do it or explain why it can’t be done and make alternate plans.
Routines can be simple so they can be easily repeated. If your child becomes rigid about routines, this could be a coping strategy, especially if your child is 2-7 years old. You can always visit with your pediatrician if you’re concerned.
Although rituals and routines overlap, a routine is something done the same way over and over and a ritual is a routine with symbolic value.
If you would like to consult about ways to introduce or streamline routines and rituals in your family, consider a consult with Harriet Kohen, LICSW or Anne Ford, LICSW at Partners in Healing at 763-546-5797. WE CAN HELP.
*Pediatric News, November 2011.